The Past
by MargaretBenson
Summary: Olivia was abducted 6 years ago and spent those 6 years in a basement with a man who never talked to her. Now she's back in New York and trying to get herself back on her feet… Together with her 3 year old son Ricki. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**SUMMARY: Olivia was abducted 6 years ago and spent those 6 years in a basement with a man who never talked to her. Now she's back in New York and trying to get herself back on her feet… Together with her 3 year old son Ricki.**

**Rated M for future chapters.**

**OOC! Don't like? Don't read. Anyway, enjoy!**

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It had been 3 months ago since Olivia got back from Paris. That's where she spent her time the last 6 years. 6 years ago Olivia was abducted by a man she had never seen before. Things had gone so fast and before she knew, she was in Paris. She still didn't understand how he had been able to get her out of the country without anyone noticing. Of course the squad knew something was wrong the day she hadn't turned up for work. Olivia never missed a day and they went looking for her immediately. For some reason they had never found her. It was like she had disappeared from the planet without a sign. Of course the team never gave up but at some point they ran out of the clues…They had no idea what to do anymore.

At a lovely summer day Olivia had walked inside the precinct with her little boy and the whole team had been staring at her for at least 15 minutes before they attacked her with hugs and cuddles. Olivia had changed a lot. Her personality wasn't as outgoing as it used to be and she was very protective over her son. Ricki was 3 but had never said one single word… Olivia had told the squad she was abducted and spent 6 years of her life in Paris but that's it. That's all she said so no one knew what really happened.

Olivia moved back into her old apartment in Manhattan and luckily enough she had an extra room for Ricki. It took her several weeks to get the boy to sleep in his own room. He had seen things a child, not even an adult, should have to see and Olivia believed he was scarred for life. Of course she wouldn't treat him like that. Ricki was her big boy and they were going to make the best of it.

It was now 4 months after her return and captain Cragen had welcomed her back to the squad. She never talked about what happened so the captain knew there was a lot going on in her head. Olivia wasn't stable enough yet to do the real work but a few hours a day she would be able to do paperwork and stuff like that. Everyone understood she had to make a living and they were also very happy to have her back. Ricki was there all the time and usually played somewhere around her desk. Perhaps SVU wasn't the right place for a child but Ricki refused to leave his mother's side.

It was somewhere in the afternoon and Olivia was ready to leave the precinct when he walked in… Trevor Langan. Yes, he was a defense attorney but he was probably the nicest one. One of his clients was here so he had to be there. He had heard Olivia had come back but he was very surprised to see her.  
"Detective Benson! It's good to see you…"

Olivia smiled as she helped Ricki putting his coat on. Trevor Langan wasn't such a bad man as most people here thought. He was quite friendly but just a damn good defense attorney.

"It's good to see you too…" Since she had been on her knees to help Ricki, she got up and took the boy's hand. "Come on, honey. Let's go home. See you guys tomorrow."

Before they left, Ricki waved at everyone, which made everyone smile. He was a good little boy. If he would only talk…

When Olivia passed Trevor her looked at her.  
"Hee, I could drop you off if you want. Only have to give my client some papers."

A smile curled Olivia's lips but she shook her head.  
"I came here with my own car so no… But thanks. I appreciate that."

And with that Olivia left the building. She had become a bit distant. Of course she was still friendly and all but she just didn't want people too close. A lot of things had happened and she had lost trust and faith in humanity…

Before Olivia had the chance to drive off, her old partner ran out of the building towards her. A smile curled her lips and she opened the window.  
"Elliot? What's up?"

"Liv, is it okay if I visit you tonight? Around dinnertime perhaps? Would be nice to catch up again, you know."

Olivia honestly had to think about that for a moment but she finally nodded.  
"Yeah, I would like that."

Elliot smiled and nodded before he went inside again. It had been a long time ago since the two of them had spent some time together so it would be nice to talk again. Even though Olivia had known the man for years, she was a bit scared for tonight. Of course she was also looking forward to it but she just hoped he wouldn't ask her any tough questions…

Just like Elliot promised, he arrived around dinnertime. For some reason Olivia felt like he wanted to have dinner here so she had cooked more food and waited for him to arrive. When the doorbell rang some sort of shockwave went through her body. It was just a reaction she had from time to time. Olivia was working on it and talked to someone once, sometimes twice, a week but it wasn't going to go away in just a few days… It needed time and she was gonna take that time.

After Olivia opened the door, Elliot gave her a careful hug. He wasn't sure if she was comfortable with that but when she didn't pull away, he smiled softly and rubbed her back for a second.  
"It's good to see you like this, Liv."

"It's good to see you too, El… Dinner is ready."  
Olivia smiled and walked back into the living room and turned the tv off. She had noticed Ricki enjoyed cartoons and maybe he would learn to say some words if he watched them every day so every day, 45 minutes before dinner, he was allowed to watch some tv.  
"Come on sweetie. Mommy has some fries for you and uncle Elliot is going to have dinner with us."

The boy smiled widely and clapped his hands. Ricki really liked Elliot so he ran over to him with his arms wide. Elliot laughed as he picked the boy up. He had no idea what it was but this boy had something special. Of course he loved his own kids even more but there was something about Ricki, which always made you wonder what was going on inside his head. Since day one Elliot knew Ricki was smarter than people realized. Maybe he didn't talk but he knew exactly what people were talking about.

"Heey there little man! Hear that? Mommy has fries for you!"  
Elliot grinned as he walked over to the kitchen.

"I hope you don't mind eating fries, Elliot. I was in no mood to cook."  
She grinned and put some plates on the table in the living room. On Fridays they always had dinner in the living room and that was mostly because she was too lazy to set up the table anyway.

"Ooh of course I don't mind. I like fries."  
Elliot put the little boy down on the couch and sat down as well. Once everything was on the table, he gave Ricki his plate. It was quiet, but not uncomfortable, for a moment but then he turned his eyes on Olivia.  
"So how're you holding up?"

Olivia had hoped he wouldn't ask questions like that. She had never talked to anyone about what happened to her, except her therapist of course.  
"I'm fine. Glad Cragen let me work again and in a while I hope to be back on the field. I'm thankful for the job I have right now but you know me; I'm not enjoying doing paperwork the whole day."

A grin appeared on Elliot's face. Yeah, he knew Olivia didn't enjoy that. He knew she was eager to help people but he also understood Cragen's decision. A lot of things were going on in Olivia's life and her probably felt like she wasn't ready for the hard work yet.  
"It's boring without you though. I mean, Fin is a great guy but it's not the same."

Olivia nodded a bit while she took a fry off her plate.  
"Yeah, I miss doing my job but I have to take it easy for now."

Ricki had already finished his plate so Olivia put some of her food on his plate. Olivia had lost a lot of weight and she wasn't really doing anything to get it back. She wasn't too skinny or anything but some meat on her bones just looked a lot better.

The two of them talked about everything and nothing and around 9 PM Elliot decided to go back home to his family. He had hoped Olivia would tell him about what happened to her but she didn't. Of course he was just accepting that right now. If she didn't want to talk about it, he wasn't going to force her and she was doing good so he didn't see a problem.

Little Ricki was in bed already so Olivia followed Elliot to the hall and smiled.  
"Thanks for coming by. It's nice being able to talk to someone since I kind of live in a cave at the moment."

A laugh escaped from Elliot's throat.  
"Oh come on! You don't live in a cave. You have a son to take care of and believe me; being a parent is a full-time job."

Olivia nodded. Yeah, she knew that. She didn't mind though… Ricki wasn't a child created with love but he was hers and he rocked her world. He was her everything.  
"I'll see you tomorrow El. Take care."

"You too…"  
After sharing a hug, Elliot made his way to his car and waved before driving off.

Just when Olivia was about to close the door, Trevor Langan passed. It took her quite a while to realize it was him 'cause he wasn't wearing his usual suit. No, he was wearing a plain shirt, some jeans and some Converse All Stars. For the first time in months a smile appeared on Olivia's face because of the appearance of a man. He looked quite hot like this… His scruffy beard was sexy!

"Olivia!"  
A smile curled his lips when he saw her standing there in her door opening.

"Heey…"  
She smiled as she looked at him a bit longer than she should've.  
"I'm going in… Ricki is asleep so I don't want to be out of the house too long. I'll see you soon, all right?"

Trevor nodded and raised his hand.  
"Of course. Good night!" 

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**I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. Going on for at least 2 or 3 more chapters. What would you like to see? Please leave a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

** anaxox: Glad you like it so far. This won't be an e/o in terms of a romance. Elliot will appear in the story every once in a while though! :)**

** spacekitten2700: Working on it! ;D**

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**Enjoy! Hope you like it!**

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When Olivia was in bed around 10 PM, she just stared at the ceiling while a smile was playing around her lips. She was still smiling over Trevor Langan. Why did she get so happy all of the sudden just by seeing him? She had seen him plenty of times already and in fact; in the beginning she didn't even like him… Olivia felt so good right now. It was probably not even because of Trevor Langan but the feeling that she could look at a man that way again was amazing. She still kept a distance between herself and every person in her life but she noticed things were getting a bit easier… She wasn't that scared anymore… After smiling like an idiot for like an hour, she finally fell asleep.

It was terribly hot the next day. Too hot for this time of the year. The air conditioner at the precinct was broken so everyone was walking around with wet shirts. Olivia was the only one still wearing a blouse with long sleeves and she didn't feel like taking it off. Elliot had told her several times to take something off or else she would faint but she refused and even got a bit mad when he said it for the fifth time.

Around 4 PM Olivia was done and got up from behind her desk. Ricki wasn't liking this weather much either and had been crying every once in a while because he was so hot…  
"Guys, I'm going home and put Ricki in a nice cold tub. The boy is way too hot."

Olivia took him in her arms after she cleared the desk and of course everyone agreed. They wouldn't say it but it was pretty annoying to have a crying child around at work. Olivia said goodbye to captain Cragen and then left the precinct. She didn't use the car today so mother and son had to walk back home. Luckily enough she had put Ricki in a stroller this morning so she didn't have to carry him all the way. For some reason he didn't like walking on the streets.

When they almost arrived home, Trevor Langan was there again. He just got out of his car and seemed surprised to see Olivia again.  
"Well hello there…"

Olivia laughed as she walked closer to him. There had been moments she could kill the guy but she had to see he was actually a really nice man.  
"Hey! Why do I keep walking into you?"

"Probably because we live in the same street."  
He said while a grin was playing on his face.

Olivia seemed surprised. He lived in the same street and she never noticed? How's that even possible?  
"Really? Since when?"

"Since 2 days. I didn't like my old apartment and was looking for something else so when I noticed one of the apartments here was available, I went after it and got it!"

"Aah that's great. It's a nice neighborhood and I'm sure you'll enjoy living here."  
She smiled and looked at Ricki who smiled widely at Trevor. The boy didn't really like people in general but sometimes he would meet a person he liked.

"I'm sure I will." Trevor said. "Can I invite you over for dinner tonight? If you're not up for it, just let me know, okay? I understand."

Olivia thought for a moment. She didn't really have a reason to say no, right? Trevor was a nice man and he seemed to respect her. After thinking for a few seconds she nodded.  
"Ya sure, why not? You don't mind me taking Ricki with me, right?"

Trevor shook his head while he brushed through the boy's hair. Of course he didn't mind. Only a few people knew he loved children. He liked having them around so of course he didn't mind if Olivia brought her 3-year-old with her.  
"All right, I'll see you around 6, okay? I'll make sure things are ready."

Olivia nodded and still had a wide smile playing around her lips. After they said goodbye, she made her way to her own apartment and found herself grinning like an idiot. It felt so good to be around people again, she had to admit that. It would be good for Ricki as well to spend time with other people 'cause most of the time he was just hanging around his mother.

It was 4:47 PM now so Olivia put Ricki in a cold bath with some toys. The boy loved it and was playing happily while Olivia stared at him. Before she was abducted 6 years ago, she had dreamed of becoming a mother but it always seemed impossible. She had no boyfriend and she was way too busy with her job anyway. Now, 6 years later, she had a 3 year old son and she loved him so much. No, he wasn't created with love and yes, his father was someone she would've loved to kill but she had her boy and he was her little prince.

After 30 minutes or so, she took Ricki out of the tub and put him in some shorts and a nice shirt. She still had some time so she put Ricki in front of the tv in her bedroom so she could get dressed. When she had taken her clothes off and running around the bedroom in her underwear, the doorbell rang. A frown appeared on her face. Who could that be? Olivia quickly grabbed her bathrobe to cover herself and ran through the hall to the front door. When she opened it, she saw Elliot standing there.

"You forgot your wallet…"  
He smiled as he handed it over to her. Elliot noticed she had put on some make up and she looked really beautiful! Of course she looked beautiful without make up as well but for some reason she seemed to sparkle now.  
"Going somewhere?"

"Uhh- Yeah."  
Why did Olivia feel uncomfortable saying she was going somewhere? She was just going to have dinner with a friend. That wasn't that bad, right?  
"Trevor Langan seemed to have moved into the street so Ricki and I are going to have dinner at his place."

"Aah that sounds nice."  
Elliot nodded while looking at Olivia. He was happy for her. Trevor Langan wasn't his favorite but at least Olivia was moving on and she seemed to like the man. As long as he didn't hurt her, Elliot was fine with that… He had to grin when he realized what he was thinking. He was like a protective momma bear. Aah well, Olivia had been his partner for years and he cared about her.  
"Hee, what if I takes care of Ricki tonight? I'm sure the boy won't mind and that way you can have a nice evening."

For a moment it scared Olivia. Her and Trevor alone? It sounded a lot safer if Ricki was there as well. Olivia looked behind her for a moment and saw how Ricki ran over to Elliot with his arms open wide again. A laugh escaped from Elliot's throat as he took the boy in his arms and lifted him up in the air.  
"But El, what about your wife and kids? You can't just take care of my child."

"Oh yes I can." He said. "Ricki knows Kathy and the kids and I'm sure he doesn't mind coming with me for a while, right?" He looked at Ricki and smiled when the boy nodded.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh a bit. Her boy was growing up way too fast. Before she knew he would be going to college or something. It was very sweet of Elliot to offer this though and Ricki didn't seem to mind so after a moment she nodded.  
"Okay… But you have to call me if there's something wrong, okay?"

Elliot laughed. Of course he would call her if something was wrong. He liked to see how the mother in her came out though. It was amazing how much she had changed… Well, not amazing actually. He didn't know exactly what happened to her but he knew it must've been terrible. Olivia never talked about it but Elliot felt as if she was raped… Ricki's father was unknown and she never mentioned him either. Well, she was a good mother for her boy no matter who the father was and that was probably the most important thing.  
"I will call you if anything happens but you should enjoy your evening, Liv. Go have fun, deal?"

Olivia smiled and nodded.  
"Okay… Wait, let me get Ricki's backpack."

She quickly ran into Ricki's bedroom and grabbed his backpack, which looked like a stuffed animal. It had the shape of a panda and it looked really cute. After filling it with some extra pair of clothes, his swim shorts and his stuffed animal, she came back.  
"Here you go… Just put some extra pair of clothes in it, just in case."

"It's gonna be okay, Olivia. Don't worry."  
Elliot smiled and watched how mother and son shared a kiss and hug.

Ricki really seemed to enjoy it and this was actually the first time she would leave him alone with someone else. She trusted Elliot so that wasn't the problem but the idea of not having her son around scared her a bit.

After Elliot left she quickly went to her room and got dressed. For some reason she got a bit nervous but she was looking forwards to it. Around 6 PM Olivia locked her apartment and walked over to the other side of the street. Trevor had already seen her coming so he opened the door and looked surprised.  
"Heey! No Ricki?"

"No, Elliot offered to take him with him for tonight."  
She smiled and nodded a bit as Trevor took a step aside so she could walk inside. Her heart was bouncing like crazy and she had no idea why.

"I set up the table in the backyard… Wine?"  
Trevor walked over to the kitchen and held up two 2 wineglasses.

Olivia shook her head.  
"No thanks. Not yet…"

It was a bit too early for wine at his hour so Olivia was just going to enjoy a glass of orange juice. She made her way outside and sat down on one of those couches especially for in the garden. The weather slowly started to cool down a bit so it was actually quite nice outside in the shadow.

Trevor came outside with two glasses of orange juice and put them down on the table. He looked relaxed as he sat down next to her. He didn't come too close 'cause the last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable.  
"You look great, Liv. You're feeling good huh?"

Olivia laughed and nodded after taking a sip of her orange juice.  
"I do actually. I really do. Things are working out great for me right now and things would be even better if Ricki would start talking."

Trevor smiled softly as he listened to her. Of course he had noticed Ricki was 3 and still not talking.  
"Do you know why he's not able to talk?"

Olivia shrugged a bit as she looked down at her glass.  
"I'm not sure. I personally think he's scared… He saw a lot, you know. That boy's life is so different from any other child and I think the world scares him."

For some reason Trevor could hear the pain in her voice. Just like everyone else he had no idea what had happened to her Olivia but he knew it was something terrible.  
"I really hope he starts talking soon… But other than that, he really seems to do great."

"Yeah he is."  
She took another sip of her juice as she looked at Trevor. He was such a nice man and now she was slowly calming down, she was really happy she came. Olivia had been scared about feeling uncomfortable or anything but he actually made her feel really comfortable.

They talked and laughed the whole evening and had a great time together. For Olivia it felt like she was having the time of her life. She hadn't had this much fun in years and it felt so good. Around 11.15 PM she decided it was time to go home. Elliot had sent her a message with a picture of Ricki asleep in bed with the twins. A smiled had appeared on Olivia's face and she had decided to pick up the boy first thing in the morning. She wasn't going to wake him now.

Trevor and Olivia walked to the front door. When Olivia walked outside she turned around and smiled.  
"Thanks for the nice evening. I really had a great time."

Trevor nodded while a warm smile was playing on his face.  
"So did I and I think we should do this more often."

"For sure."

The two of them stared at each other for a while but suddenly Olivia was the one who made a move. Her face came closer to his and she softly pressed her lips upon his. For some reason she had been longing to do this the whole evening. It scared her but at the same time it felt so good… 

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**DUN DUN!  
****I hope you liked this chapter. I have ideas for 2 or 3 more chapters so if you have any suggestions, let me know!  
Please leave a review 3**


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